A Tribute to the Medium Woman Writer Who Just Can’t Stay Away
(Sung to the tune of “Pretty Woman,” with humble apologies to Roy Orbison)
Medium woman, you’re logging on, I see
Medium woman, why don’t you talk to me?
Medium woman, I don’t believe it, you crazy fool,
no one could log in as long as you
Medium woman, what’s become of you?
Medium woman, what shall I do?
Medium woman, you love to write, it’s true
But, I’m lonely without you
Medium woman clicks a while
Medium woman comments a while
Medium woman visit my profile, see me (come see me)
Medium woman, yeah, yeah, yeah, Medium woman read my essays
Medium woman clap for me
Cause I read you, I’ll rate you right
Come on baby, follow me tonight
Medium woman don’t read and stare,
Medium woman don’t make me pull my hair
Medium woman why don’t you share your time with me?
Oh please, spend some time with me.
(Spoken over main riff)
We should go to bed it’s late
There will be more essays, but wait!
What do I hear? “Just one more please, my dear…”
Yes, it’s just one more, oh dear….Oh, my Medium woman!
Note: this was originally written by my husband on May 27, 2000 when I was writing a lot on the now-defunct www.Epinions.com website (where users could write and rate various items). He lamented that I spent way too much time on the site and wrote this parody to catch my attention. I’ve since updated it to reflect my time on Medium.com now.