First, that is f---ed up that he didn't know your last name. But I have to admit the part I'm hung up on is two adults in a bathtub at the same time. Do you have one of those awesome huge tubs?!?!? I'm uber jealous.
The second line that jumped out at me was about the faucet being behind your back and Dan getting the comfy sloped side of the tub during the infamous conversation. Talk about adding insult to injury! Not only did he not know your last name, but he got the comfy side of the bathtub!
That's quite gracious of you to remain friends w/Dan, especially after his latest comment about your "endless reminders." Is he that good in bed? LOL!