Oh don't worry, I laugh along with you as I joined the HOA board shortly after that interaction with the HOA president. I absolutely recognize the value of HOAs but I didn't like his tactics.

He could have told us, "Welcome to the neighborhood! I know you just moved in, but the contractor who repaired that column so the sale could move forward left it unpainted for the past week. Please get it painted this weekend and make sure to match the color perfectly by chipping off a large square and not just comparing it to a photo on your phone. I know you don't want to prioritize that over unpacking, but otherwise the HOA will send you a notice with a fine each day it's left unpainted."

Instead, he waved hello and then told the HOA management to send us the letter. We wrongly thought we could get to it the second weekend as I like having essentials unpacked.

As for the dog, the whole neighborhood complained about the dog but the HOA president was so non-confrontational that no measures were taken. In our desperation (as we also had babies trying to sleep right next to the fence where the dog was barking), we reported the neighbors to Animal Control for nuisance barking. That was the only solution as they refused to do anything about it until AC got involved.