Thanks for sharing your story, Allison, I read Ryan's story, too, and find there are some universal themes to being part of the Asian diaspora (and ethnically Chinese, specifically).
I keep thinking back to what my husband's grandfather emphasized to his own sons and his grandkids. He was a third gen American of Chinese descent. The message was always: We are Chinese American so we can "pick" the elements of each culture that are positive and praiseworthy and let go of the traditions/values that feel oppressive or downright alienating (e.g., colorism, racism, absolute loyalty to blood relatives despite their behavior, etc.).
That really resonates with me! Best wishes to you and the generations after you who also need to forge this path between two cultures.