Thanks for the thoughtful reply, Tim. In the before times, we were perfectly comfortable hosting friends because the old 1957 house looked very average. It now looks like a showpiece because my husband genuinely loves to cook so we went all out.
As for entertaining, we are the ones who host our extended family for all the holiday dinners and have done so for the past 19 years (since we married!). No one else likes to cook as much as my husband. Once it's safe to have 25-40 people in the house again unmasked, then we'll go back to hosting them but I think you're right, it is a bit too ostentatious to invite all our friends at once to see the house. COVID has bought us time, though, so maybe friends will forget we did a renovation?
I don't think you're biased, as it sounds like you did have a bad experience with resentful family when you bought your new house. Sorry to hear that.