“You’re Not Pretty, But You’re Attractive.”
How do you respond to a compliment like that?
I read Evelyn Martinez’s essay, “Can Hot Women Get a Break, Please?” and immediately sympathized with her beautiful sister. Note I didn’t say empathized. I can understand how it must be insulting to constantly be underestimated and judged for being beautiful. Yet I can’t say I’ve experienced it.
I have never fit into a conventional standard of beauty. My eyes are too small, my nose too flat and wide, my lips too small, and my hair too limp (although there was a period in the 90s when heroin chic was in and flat limp hair was a thing). My body is also pretty average — not skinny but also not curvy. My best feature is my smile.
Growing up, I was one of the few girls in my family who was born with monolids. If you are not of Asian descent or don’t have Asian friends, you probably don’t know this term. In many Asian cultures, women have grown up talking about whether you have monolids or “double lids.” People will even comment on how lucky your baby is if she has double lids. If she has monolids, then they’ll say, “Don’t worry, she can get surgery when she’s older.”
If you have monolids, your eyelids don’t have that extra crease on the upper lid. This means when you open your eyes, your eyelids just sit on top of your…
