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9X Top Writer. Proud grad of CA public schools. Committed to justice & leadership development. Wife & mom of 2 girls & 2 big dogs. Love to eat almost everything

Feminist Asian American mom and wife who is a classic Type A and ESTJ. Loves to eat and is willing to travel for food.

Woman sits on log with her back to the camera as two teen girls walk toward the water’s edge.
This candid photo was taken by my husband last week as we watched our teen daughters explore the cove.

A fast walker, fast talker, and fast eater, I do everything too fast. It’s like I am always running out of time. I don’t know why I feel so compelled to be efficient and maximize my time.

I’ve tried to slow myself down — whether it’s trying to chew each bite of food 10 times, deliberately slowing down like I’m walking with a 4-year-old, or speaking slowly like I would with a grandparent who is hard of hearing. Nevertheless, the slower pace never lasts long. …


I’ve been dubbed a “Top Writer” in nine categories (but lost several in August 2021). See links to all my stories.

My Most Popular StoriesParentingFeminismRacismTravel and FoodMoneyLife Lessons/This Happened To MeMy DogsMiscellaneous


I don’t know how I would otherwise have learned their stories.

Photo by Guilherme Stecanella on Unsplash

I came to Medium in March of 2021 because I had written a passionate and lengthy essay about how anti-Asian hate feels like death by a thousand cuts. I knew my essay was too long for Facebook so I looked around and found Medium. I shared the link on Facebook and LinkedIn and it quickly had over 1,500 external views.

Yet it was Zuva, the editor-in-chief of An Injustice! who reached out to invite me to add my story to her publication. Thanks to her outreach, I soon had member reads, too. …


She was in her locked car near the Stanford University campus.

You get a false sense of safety when the street is brightly lit and there are lots of other cars around. Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

Trigger warning: I mention some details of the violent attack, rape, carjacking, and attempted murder.

I still remember my horror when I read the news article back in 2010. A woman was beaten, carjacked, raped, and almost murdered after a stranger broke into her car while she was napping. Once I learned more details, I realized it could have been me.

It all started off like a typical Friday night. A young woman in her late 20s, Asian American like me, had gone out with friends after a long week. …


TRAVEL TIPS, FAMILY TRAVEL

It saves time, money, stress, and our muscles

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Does every new traveler make the mistake of overpacking? I remember checking a large suitcase with several pairs of shoes and multiple “what if?” outfits on my first few flights as an adult.

Many trips later, I have packing down to a science. My family of four travels with only one carry-on per person and a personal item (like a purse or small backpack). Yes, it’s easy to travel lightly to a casual warm destination like a tropical island. We don’t need to pack much more than shorts, t-shirts, a swimsuit, and flip-flops. …


Why do we care so much about avoiding conflict?

Adorable puppies just want everyone to be happy. Photo by Vander Films on Unsplash

I’ve always been a nice girl who went along with the flow. You could say I’m non-confrontational to a fault. I think too much about other people’s feelings. Just like a puppy, I want everyone to like me.

When I saw Nedra Glover Tawwab’s post about how certain behavior is not nice but people-pleasing, it struck me to my core.


It’s not fair but there’s a societal bias in favor of tall people.

Photo by Mike Prince on Unsplash

I’m often told that I’m surprisingly tall, “especially for an Asian woman.” I’m 5’8” and I usually wear at least 2" heels so I appear to be 5'10" (177 cm for my non-American readers).

Growing up in California, people used to always comment on my height because the average American woman is 5'4" (per a 2018 U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention/National Health Statistics report). Most Asian women are even shorter.

For example, all the women on my Chinese American husband’s side of the family hover around 5’ tall, with the exception of one of his sisters who is…


Choose from one of five options by highlighting it!

I’ve never eaten a tomahawk steak but it looks dramatic! Photo by Madie Hamilton on Unsplash

As a child, I learned from the movies that death row inmates get to choose whatever they want for their last meal. It’s one of the last privileges given before execution.

I found this website listing the actual meals that American murderers and other felons ordered before their executions. Readers can actually vote on their favorite meal. In addition to being surprised by the large volume of food in one meal, I noticed that many included a mix of comfort food or fast food.

The current number one meal (with 15, 999 votes) is what Steven Woods, a murderer executed…


Waiting for him to make a move might mean losing out.

Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash

“Never make the first move.”

“Play hard-to-get.”

“Men like the chase.”

This was the typical dating advice aimed at straight women when I was growing up. I think many of these messages are instilled in us from a young age — it’s something our parents tell us, our friends tell us, and screenwriters tell us when we watch movies and TV.

So we sat back and waited for the boys to make the first move. But the reality is that there’s a lot of pressure on them and some are hesitant or shy. I’m sure it’s hard to work up…


This can happen when you don’t prioritize safety.

I wanted to move out of the dorms because I never wanted to share a room or sleep in a bunk bed again. Photo by Marcus Loke on Unsplash

When I was 20, I moved into my first apartment and was overjoyed. After two years of living in the dorms with roommates, I was eager to have my own room again. I never wanted to sleep in a bunk bed again.

I’m sure other people have worse stories, but I am a person who loves her sleep. Suffice to say, I was eager to escape sleeping in the same room with roommates. Since I didn’t have a car, I was limited to apartments within walking distance. …

Anna (she/her)

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